im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
