I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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