I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
