so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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