There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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