so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize