I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
