I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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