I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How does it feel to date your dad?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
