YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize