We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
