David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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