So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
