I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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