i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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