I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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