I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
