I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The adults are the big ones right?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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