It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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