I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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