I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
