we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
