A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
