You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize