A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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