We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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