Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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