WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
