We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
