Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
