i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
