I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize