YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
