Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ttyl tear gas
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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