I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
