we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
