Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
