the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
