then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
