clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
