Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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