DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I want her autograph on my taint
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
