weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The adults are the big ones right?
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