I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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