I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
