I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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