he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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