just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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