remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
