I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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