1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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