you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
