If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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