Having a random hookup so left but love u
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
