Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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