when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
