This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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