im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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