My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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