i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
