tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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