I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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