i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
