I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
