Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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