he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
