my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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